Full Moon and Counting Down without you!

January 20th, 2010

Another one Zach took at the house.

Jan 20 th Manhattan, KS 

Let see... this week Bart made it back from Steamboat, Denver, El Paso, and Snyder with out an emergency trip home for Baby bird and boy were we relieved.  8:15 Monday morning we see Doc and she says I am almost a 2 and very close to being completely effaced.  Now Bart looks at her and says can I go back on the road this week? Well, how can that really be answered? IT CANT.  Dr. Nash says if she stays down (no pressure) then I think she can make it through Sunday, but can't really say after that.  So what seemed like a second later, it was Wednesday and they left again for gigs in Kansas.  I would love to sit here and write about how easy it was and how I am used to it, but unfortunately I didn't feel that way.  I was sad. Ok really sad.  Its like the second they left all I was doing was worrying how it would be my luck for Baby Bird to come as soon as they get to Kansas in the 10" of snow.  And what happens a few hours after they leave,  a new pain arrives.  Im standing (i know supposed to be sitting) in the kitchen and I feel this very sharp pain somewhere near by upper thigh and man did it hurt.  I could no longer stand.  I was sharp so I figured it wasn't labor but  something new I have never felt which is always scary/exciting when so close to the arrival of baby bird. Needless to say,  I had a long night last night stayed up most of the night feeling uncomfortable waiting to talk to Bart again and ask him why this couldn't have happened one night before, read a book, made GypsySun notes, made myself a to do list im not allowed to do, finally crashed around 4:30am.   I  just needed that extra reassurance that if this was the beginning of labor I was fine and he could make it back.   I obviously survived and Beverly made it down today to keep me down and keep me company.(and she was secretly dying to get back to Austin where you can get Veggies burgers and sweet potato fries :)) We are for sure on the count down and I pray every night that Bart has safe great shows, but hurries home to share the special time with us.   I don't want him  to miss a moment and  I honestly don't want to do it without him. Truth. Im usually super independent and want to do things my way and on my own, but this well this is different and I 100% want him  to be here.  Extra prayers for him tonight for safe travels and to make it swiftly home- At the moment Bart is in Manhattan, KS  on stage and in 10" of snow.  But shortly before I got the above messages from afar :) Reminds me even when it is trying it is so worth it.  Even to be loved from afar, the fact that your are loved.  
"And ever has it been known that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation. "Khalil Gibran